Timothy John "T.J." Hargrave: Husband, Father, Brother, Son... American Hero

Timothy John Hargrave of Readington, N.J., was killed by Islamic fundamentalists while working at his job as vice president at Cantor Fitzgerald, in the North Tower, 105th Floor. He was 38 years old.

He is listed as victim #562, but as you will read, T.J. was so much more... an incredible man, who leaves this world greatly diminished by his absence.

This despicable act left his wife Patty without her beloved husband, his daughters Corey, 9; Casey, 7; Amy, 5 without their adoring father, his mom Kathryn, sisters Maureen, Pat, Kathy, Mary Ann, Jeanmarie, Carolyn and brother Jamie, as well as countless others in his extended family, heartbroken. But they weren't the only ones affected. T.J. had a huge impact on everyone's life he touched, as witnessed by the many testimonials to him on the Internet. They speak of his zest for life, his sincerity, kindness, brilliance and his loyal friendship.

T.J. started working at age 6 and didn't stop until Sept. 11.

As a child, his work was acting. He was in many television commercials. The first film he did was released in 1971 and called "Such Good Friends," exposing him to legends behind the camera as well as in front of it. The film was directed by Otto Preminger, written by Elaine May, and also starred Dyan Cannon, James Coco, Ken Howard, Burgess Meredith, Louise Lasser and Laurence Luckinbill. In 1974, he joined the longest running soap opera, "The Guiding Light," creating the character of Tim "T.J." Werner. He left the show in 1976, apparently because he had shaved his head along with every other wrestler on his high school team, freaking out the producers. T.J. didn't seem to mind; it was just another funny story he could tell. His leaving allowed a then-unknown actor by the name of Kevin Bacon to take over the role. T.J. then went on to star in a made-for-television movie called, "The Prince of Central Park," with Ruth Gordon, Dan Hedaya and Brooke Shields.

As an adult, he worked at Cantor Fitzgerald. "People were flabbergasted when they found out," said his wife, Patricia. "He was someone who knew a little bit about everything."

But most of his prodigious energies went to those close to him: his wife, Patty; the friends they had made as far back as the Wayne, N.J., high school, DePaul, they both attended; his seven older siblings; his three young daughters; and all the girls on the soccer teams he coached.

"He was passionate about everything, and he was an everlasting friend," his wife said. "Once you were in his life, you stayed there. And he was the most devoted father you can imagine. He'd never played soccer a day in his life, but he wanted the girls to be involved in team sports, so he learned. I tell them, 'Some parents have their kids in soccer so they can have some time by themselves, but your father had you in soccer because he wanted to be with you.' He was more than a devoted father, more than a devoted husband," his wife said. He was "an everlasting friend to anybody that he ever met." He and his wife would have celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary in November, 2001.

Of course, no one can honor him better than his own family. In 2002, his daughter left this note for him:

Dear dad,
I miss you. You have been very, very nice. I'd do anything to get you back.

I love you and miss you.
love your peanut cori

Corinne Hargrave (Stanton, NJ )

And then this one from his wife:

T - I've spent every second of every day of the last 4 1/2 months thinking about you. My mind will always be filled with wonderful memories of our 20 years together. Although way too short (no I don't mean you), I am so grateful for that time. I love you for so many reasons, way too many to go into, but... to list a few: your absolute devotion to and love for Cori, Casey, Amy and me, for all you taught me over the years, the confidence you instilled in me, your level-headedness with our girls, the fun we knew we would have when you were around, and in general, just the brilliant person you were. I thought about it the other day, and if I was asked to describe you in one word, it would be BRILLIANT - that was your entire being - you were the smartest person I ever knew, and your caring, loving personality shone on all of us, enabling us to bask in that brilliant light and warmth that was you.

I know the impact you have had on so many of us, through the way you lived your life, will stay with us, and guide us, forever.

I will love you forever and miss you always.

Love, Patty

May G-d bless T.J. and his family.

Information in this entry was taken from various publications and Web sites including a profile published in The New York Times on November 24, 2001 and an article from the AP. You can find information on T.J.'s acting career on the Internet Movie Data Base.


2996: Honoring the 9/11 Victims -- We will never forget


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