Oscar Show Wrap-up (updated as show progressed)

I have two words for you -- amateur hour. This show was a poorly produced mess. What was up with having all the nominees on stage like they were facing a firing squad? How embarrassing for those on there who didn't win! Even worse -- poor makeup's winners had to do their acceptance speech in the aisle! What was up with that?!? And it just gets worse. The shot of Scarlett Johansson from the balcony -- and they didn't even dress it! You could see the stair way. Note to future broadcasts: don't repeat this! It didn't work. And what was up with all the shots that showed empty seats??! Hello, that's what seat fillers are for.

Points of Interest (I can't really call it highlights):

1) Chris Rock's opening monologue was funny until he started going off about Bush and then he ragged on the war. So how does he wrap it up? Telling the audience to give it up for the troops. Huh?

2) Pierce Brosnan coughing (during the package) and missing cues with the animated costumer from The Incredibles. Not the suave action I'd expect from 007.

3) Cate Blanchett winning for supporting actress for aping the hell out of Katharine Hepburn. I can sort of deal with that win because she was the only half-way decent part of The Aviator, an otherwise boring film that sucked 3 hours of my life away. I will admit I'm rather disappointed Sophie Okonedo didn't win for Hotel Rwanda but I'm guessing many academy members didn't see the movie (I fear this will cause Don Cheadle to lose too).

4) Catherine Zeta Jones "not showing up" and Chris Rock filling in for her. This was a lame attempt at humor.

5) Al Pacino's tribute to Sidney Lumet. I should have taped it for nights I have trouble falling asleep. Also loved when he announced Mr. Lumet, he rubbed the Oscar against his mic.

6) Something fell, throwing Jeremy Irons, who was stuck in the aisle again.

7) I didn't expect to keep having so many things to point out. OK, so Chris Rock does a crass intro for Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, saying something about having the "four" of them. Egads. Then all the nominees are carted onstage again, looking like participants in the game show, Russian Roulette, waiting for the trap door to open and they'll fall through. Then Salma introduced a song, and some sound happened (I thought like a horse; my boyfriend thought it was like something fell).

8) During Martin Scorsese's speech for Roger Mayer, the voice over disappeared during the package. What a mess!

9) The Dead Tribute -- they started off with Ronald Reagan and no one clapped for a few seconds... Don't get me wrong; I wasn't fond of Reagan when he was president. His policies had a horrible affect on my family's quality of life. But for G-d's sake -- the man was president. As Tom Carter discussed on his blog, you show respect for the president.

10) Best song went to the film glorifying a communist and a terrorist. Charming. And Hollywood, who thinks they're not out of touch with the country, proceeded to clap madly.

11) Forgot to add Sean Penn's diatribe against "the host." Sean, do you need me to get someone to help remove that pole up your ass? As Chris Rock said, you need to go see his "accountants." Sean Penn = pretentious actor to the nth degree. He's a very good actor, but still...

12) Best Actress -- major tough category. All the actresses did kick-ass work. But it went to the woman who I said should get it long ago -- Hilary Swank for Million Dollar Baby. I couldn't see how anyone else could get it. Bravo for getting ONE thing right tonight....finally. And wasn't Chad Lowe adorable as she thanked him (since she forgot last time).

13) They just came back from commericial and you could hear Chris Rock saying, "If it breaks...." Uh huh.

14) Best actor -- Jamie Foxx.... well, he did do a fine job. Great speech. But to me, Don Cheadle needed to get it. Hotel Rwanda deserved something. It was an AMAZING film. Ray was an enjoyable film. HR was phenomenal.

15) OK, I just realized I didn't say anything about Supporting Actor, but that was only because it was sublime..... Morgan Freeman -- YES!!!!!!!! I heart him. He was in one of my favorite films of all time, The Shawshank Redemption and he totally rocked in Million Dollar Baby. I was so happy for him!

16) Directing. If Clint doesn't get it, I will be furious. HATED Aviator. OK, Julia "Go Away" Roberts is announcing.... Yay!!!!!!!!! Clint won!!!!!!!!

17) Oh dear G-D, Barbra. Love how she's hogging the mic. And then she giggled and had to cue Dustin. Best film had better be Million Dollar Baby because it was....we'll see...And now Barbra grabs the envelope...but can't read and she says it's great to give it to Clint again. I don't think my boyfriend has his hearing anymore. I screamed bloody murder! Woohoo!! And Barbra molested Clint when he came up. Too funny. Horrible shots of the audience -- more mess ups.

18) Clint was a class act, letting his other producers have the spotlight. What a guy! Charlie Kauffman, who won for script and has won before, didn't let the other 2 writers speak. Clint, you rock!

Horrible writing, terrible directing (hi Lou! you big jerk), and wonky camera work -- had to have been the worst looking Oscars ever. But I'm glad Million Dollar Baby did well.