Monday, August 01, 2005

Women Beware -- What You Must Know

I fear women don't really get how vulnerable they are to predators. And I don't just mean sexual predators. Not too long ago, when I was in DC for a conference, I met a gal on the Metro. She was sweet as pie and very artistic... her head in the clouds. She was telling me about how she'd discovered religion (tried to woo me for it; boy was she barking up the wrong tree) and was very into it. She then let loose a bomb -- she'd recently met this Muslim man and after talking to him for five minutes -- he asked her to MARRY HIM. But she was considering saying yes! Not by the time I was done with her though.

I asked if he was a citizen of the US. She admitted that he wasn't. I gently pointed out that this is a technique "certain" foreigners use (finding a sweet naive girl) to try to gain citizenship into this country, so they're able to move around more freely. She agreed she wouldn't marry him and instead was now even more motivated to convert him to Christianity. I wished her luck and departed.

But it doesn't just happen here. This happens around the world, including Israel, often with a more sophisticated approach than was used on this young woman in DC. Men, especially Palestinian men, can hide their true motives, woo tourists or Israelis in an attempt to gain citizenship through their spouses. It sort of goes back to my previous post about how they have no problems lying to get what they want, whether its purpose is for personal propaganda, political gains or something far more nefarious.

I've heard from someone about a phenomenon that is very frightening and happening more and more to women in this situation. The man demonstrates interest in using the woman's body as a for-profit business, but because Israel is too small and the community too tightly-knit, he wants to go off to places like Saudi Arabia, Morocco, Egypt and Turkey to accomplish these goals. There are many Jewish girls in this situation already.

How can one know if their new beau has good intentions? I wish I knew a surefire way but at the very least, keep your eyes open. Check him out using Google search. If you know anyone in law enforcement or even in Human Resources, these people have access to doing background checks. While this sounds harsh, I don't think anyone wants to feel responsible for making life easier for a criminal or worse -- a terrorist. I would do this regardless of the guy's religion or background. But if either is dicey -- you really need to do this. You owe it to your own future. I hate to be an alarmist but things are worse today. You don't have the simple fear of yesterday, when the worst thing would be him running off with your bank account. These days, if you find out too late that you need to get out of a dangerous relationship, attempting to end things could put you at risk for an honor killing.


At 6:39 PM, Blogger Tran Sient said...

You can't save people from themselves, at least not always.

At 7:50 PM, Blogger beakerkin said...

The government checks into Marriage fraud. There are teams of people working on this every day.

At 10:01 PM, Blogger Always On Watch said...

Some time back, over at Jihad Watch, this topic was discussed.

I have two friends (1978, 2003) who almost made this mistake of marrying a noncitizen Muslim. Both finally realized what was going on.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger birdwoman said...

Isn't it sad what the Disney Dream convinces women they should be looking for in life?

women should know better. Oprah and the gang have been out there for years telling women to wise up. Yet some of us still put ourselves into really, really dumb situations.


At 8:35 AM, Blogger Esther said...

True, TS, but I still feel if people are aware, they may make different choices.

Beak, maybe OUR govt checks into it but what about every other country?

AOW, thank goodness your friends figured it out.

BW, so true... love is blind.

At 9:15 AM, Blogger LASunsett said...


These people are lower than bacteria on the organizational biology chart.

Women with low self esteem are high risk for falling for this kind of thing.

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Gindy said...

"Not by the time I was done with her though."

That was probably the mitzva of the year for you.

"You can't save people from themselves, at least not always."


At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Felis said...

Unfortunately in many cases we are our worst enemy.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger MaxedOutMama said...

Esther - I hope the targets meet people with as much sense as you!

Men are easily taken advantage of by women as well. I'm afraid we are naturally vulnerable to those of the opposite sex.

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Sigmund, Carl and Alfred said...

I hope she says yes- within 90 days she will learn a lesson that years of discussion can't teach.

It won't happen again, to her.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger Always On Watch said...

Here's the Jihad Watch link I mentioned earlier:

I knew there was a reason that I'd saved this reference!

At 5:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You can't save people from themselves, at least not always"

I think sums it up very nicley. Silly girl.


At 7:12 PM, Blogger beakerkin said...

Esther the government seriously does work on this each and every day. Investigators look into fake marriages and they are fairly tough. A person who marries an alien faces a hurdle of questions and serial mariages get noticed. The government is not perfect but this is one area of emphasis.

At 8:21 AM, Anonymous Rory said...

I think this young woman's first problem was that she would consider marrying ANY man after talking to him for five minutes...Muslim or otherwise. When I married my husband he was here on a student visa from Israel and we only knew each other for five months. If it hadn't been for the fact that he couldn't work legally without a green card, we would have waited longer. Of course, there were the usual "friends" who couldn't wait to regale my parents with all the horror stories they had heard about some young girl marrying a foreign guy whose only intention was to get a green card. Then, after they were married long enough for him to get his citizenship papers, he bailed out, cleaning out the bank accounts, taking all the furniture, and whatever the hell else it was they did. I was lucky, but things are very different now. Also, it's true that INS is much more aggressive about going after these sham marriages, but, like anything else, some people are going to fall through the cracks, and if it's that one person who's out to cause mayhem, one is all you need...and then it becomes everybody's problem.


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