Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Jews vs. Catholics

My little cousin, who is half of each, sent me the following joke. I thought it was rather amusing, so I thought I'd share.

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or
leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope
offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the
Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the Pope
won, they would have to leave or convert.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise, Rabbi Moishe to
represent them in the debate. However, as Moishe spoke no Italian and the
Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a
full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, that Rabbi
Moishe was too clever and that the Jews could stay in Italy.

Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened.

The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.

He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only
one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around

He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here
with us.

I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our

He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

He had me beaten at my every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile the Jewish community were gathered around Rabbi Moishe. "How did
you win the debate?" they asked.

"I haven't a clue," said Moishe.

"First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave
him the finger!

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said
to him, we're staying right here"

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Moishe, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine.


At 12:47 PM, Blogger Sergeant America said...

Now, that's pfunny! ;)

Half Catholic, half jewish? ... Me, I'm half-fast!

At 3:07 PM, Blogger MaxedOutMama said...

I got a good laugh out of this one, and I needed it! Thank you so much.

At 3:49 PM, Blogger MissingLink said...

It's very funny.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger patrickafir said...

LOL That's the best joke I've heard in a while, and it really hit the spot.


At 1:42 AM, Anonymous Rachel Ann said...

LOVE it!

At 2:07 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

Very funny. Something I can appreciate.

At 7:29 AM, Blogger John Walter said...


I enjoy your site and I also support Israel. After seeing the "Israel I support you" tag on your sidebar, I've added it to my own blogs and asked to be included on the list.

At 9:46 AM, Blogger Always On Watch said...

I'm neither Jewish nor Catholic (My orientation is Protestant), and I loved this joke. Thanks for making me smile!

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Gindy said...

Pretty funny.

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Esther said...

I'm really glad you guys enjoyed this as much as I did. John, thanks for your kind words! That's cool you've added it; I did the same after seeing it on another site. It's a cool club to belong to. :)

At 6:58 PM, Blogger Mark said...

I added you to the Jewish View:


Thois was always one of my favorite jokes!

I am a fellow Californian:

At 8:47 PM, Blogger Esther said...

Thanks so much, Mark! I like your site and am adding you too. Another Californian in the mix! Gindy, there's a few of us now! :)

At 6:00 PM, Blogger Mark said...

Hey, there is the Bear Flag League, which I can't join. Maybe we should start a Magen david West League, or something like that. Pro-Israeli California bloggers. Something to think about.

At 11:55 AM, Blogger SEAWITCH said...

Saw this at the Jewish View. Very funny. I can top your cousin though, Dad-Jewsih, Mom-Baptist, me, I ended up Catholic somehow.

At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am australian catholic your joke was funny. my mum is catholic and my dad was a non practising Protestant.


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