Monday, June 27, 2005

10 Reasons To Love Palestine

I have no idea what it is with me and passing along humor things suddenly but this was another that was a goodie. Hat tip to Naomi Ragen for this one from Goffaq Yussef, a Palestinian comic.

UPDATE: In Comments Section

10 Reasons To Love Palestine
by Goffaq Yussef

Golly gee, I am SOOOO proud to be Palestinian Arab from the West
Bank. Let me tell you the reasons why I have such warm, fuzzy
feelings about my people and culture:

1. There is no such thing as Mothers Day. No worry about cards,
gifts, and expensive meals. There is no honor in being a woman in
our culture, so there is no reason to devote a day to her. We do,
however, get to enjoy watching our fathers beat our mothers
senseless for the slightest real or imagined infraction. Also, if
Dad suspects that Mom spoke to a strange man in the street, he gets
to kill her to preserve the family honor!

2. Weapons. Every child, from the time he can grasp an object, is
trained to feel comfortable with a rifle or pistol in his hand. And
every Palestinian has a weapon: a gun, a rocket launcher, a pound of
C-4. What good are hands if they aren't used to kill?

3. Hate. Boy, we love to hate. Hate is the very basis and
foundation of our culture. From the time a child is old enough to
understand language, we teach him to hate. Hate Jews, hate the
West, hate his fellow man, and most of all, hate himself. We have
no love songs, we do not preach love, the word love does not appear
anywhere in our society. Hate is the fuel that runs our motors.

4. Death. The moment a Palestinian Arab child is born, his parents
begin to plan his death. How will he die? Will he be struck by an
Israeli bullet while being used as a human shield by Palestinian
gunmen? Will he get shot while throwing rocks at Jewish soldiers?
Will he be packed with explosives and sent to blow himself up,
killing others? Or will he merely be one of the many Palestinians
murdered by other Palestinians in the normal course of daily life in
the death-culture of the Palestinian Arabs? Who knows? That's part
of the thrill.

5. Unemployment. Palestinians used to have jobs, working in
Israel. But then, our leaders had a brilliant idea: suicide
bombings! For their own protection, Israel had to close its
borders, preventing Palestinians from going to their jobs, so they
could sit around unemployed and blame the Jews for it. What great
fun to be your own worst enemy!

6. Martyrdom. Who in their right mind wants to be a martyr? Among
normal people, a martyr complex is considered immature and
obnoxious, if not downright crazy. With us, it's the central
syndrome of our society! Hey, look at me, I'm gonna kill myself and
become admired! And then, when we do kill ourselves, instead of
being considered pathetic, we DO get admired! It's a whole complete
cycle of sickness! American kids collect baseball cards;
Palestinian kids collect martyr cards (really! no joke!).

7. A feeling of entitlement. When Israel came into being, we
declared war. We lost. We fought again. We lost. We fought
again. We lost. Israel had the right to kill us all (we sure would
kill all of them if we got the chance). Instead, they allow us to
live on land they conquered. But we can't leave that alone. We
have to claim entitlement to live on land that we lost in 6 wars.
Since when does the loser of a war get to claim the land he fought
over? They don't. But we do. Not only that, but we happily kill
our kids over it! Hey, what's more important -- a chunk of dirt, or
some worthless kid who isn't going to amount to anything anyway?

8. Uselessness. The Jews have won more Nobel Prizes than all other
ethnic groups combined. Their contributions to science, art,
literature and the humanities is far out of proportion to their
population. What have Palestinians produced? Nothing! Not a
thing. We don't do anything productive. We're too busy rioting and
killing and chanting and screaming and calling for everyone's death.
And we blame the Jews for it, as though the Jews stop us from being

9. Friends. The Palestinian people sure know how to pick 'em.
Saadam Hussein. The Taliban. Adolf Hitler. You name a psychopath,
and we embrace him. And look who our supporters are! The American
Nazi Party. The KKK. Just check their websites and see how they
stand in solidarity with us. When you support the Palestinian
"cause," you're in real good company. Bring your white sheet!

10. Freedom. The biggest laugh in the world is when people call us
"freedom fighters" or they say we're fighting for our freedom. Take
a look at all 22 Arab countries. Do you see any freedom there?
Well, that's what our country will be like if we ever get one. It
will be a dictatorship run by armed, masked thugs who will kill
anyone who dissents. Just like we are now. Freedom???? LOLOLOLOL
The word doesn't even exist in our language. Hey, just like George
Orwell said: "Freedom is slavery. Long live big brother!"

Remember: Israel is bad! LOLOL -- It's existence keeps reminding us
what a bunch of losers we are.


At 9:10 AM, Blogger Gindy said...

Wow. That is a great list. Does this guy still live in the mid-east? It seems like he would be taking his life in his hands for making this kind of joke.

At 9:11 AM, Blogger Gindy said...

" The moment a Palestinian Arab child is born, his parents
begin to plan his death."

By the way, joke or not, there is some truth to this.

At 9:12 AM, Blogger Esther said...

That's what makes it so... hmm... such a must-read, I guess, is the best way of putting it.

At 10:39 AM, Blogger JayM said...

hey esther i like this one very much if you dont mind i post it up on my blog soon:)

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Esther said...

Go for it.

At 12:31 PM, Blogger Sergeant America said...

;) For a moment ..., I thought I was reading about Kerry/Kennedy Democrats?

At 2:02 PM, Blogger patrickafir said...

heh I also got this in my inbox today. A lot of it is truly hilarious, and actually inspiring. It's kind of sad, but often humor is a healthy and effective way to deal with such things.

At 4:03 PM, Anonymous Felis said...

"By the way, joke or not, there is some truth to this."

Unfortunately you're right Gindy.

At 6:34 PM, Blogger RomanWanderer said...

Err..Palestinian comic? Read the name carefully ;)

At 6:54 PM, Blogger Always On Watch said...

Lots of truth in this satire. And that author's name--I had to say it aloud to get it.

Seriously, though, this list shows how twisted these death-lovers are.

At 7:42 PM, Anonymous Rachel said...

guffaw... I might have to borrow that as well! It's sad that there is so much truth to it though

At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Rachel Ann said...

I am linking here! Hope the guy has lots of protection. It is sad isn't it? There is truth to all that he is saying. Wish more people would listen to him.

At 12:45 AM, Anonymous Rachel Ann said...

Actually, from further investigation I don't think this guy really exists. This is just truth in a humorus form.

Oh well.

It is a must read however. This is the truth of what Muslims live with.

Google his name and you'll find even more jokes.

At 7:38 AM, Blogger birdwoman said...

I'm sorry. I find nothing about this at all funny.


But not funny.


At 11:02 AM, Blogger Esther said...

As Rachel Ann and RW have said.... well... got the following from Naomi Ragen today. Oops.


The problem with humor is that everyone has a different
sense of what is and what is not funny or satirical. I thought
the piece was right on. And frankly, I didn't investigate
the author, other than to google him/her and to
see that indeed, there was an author of satire using
that name. I assumed
the name was not real, because, after all, what
Palestinian in his right mind would say these
things out loud. It didn't occur to me that the name
had an obscene homonym attached to it. It
didn't occur to me that it wasn't written by
a Palestinian (in fact, I was encouraged to
see some insight and satire coming out of
that world....) and therefore might be considered
racist. That was not my intention.

Will the real author hiding
behind Mr. G. Yussef please step

In the meantime, I apologize to all of you
who were upset or offended.



At 1:19 PM, Blogger JayM said...

I dont really mind who wrote it. well will be nice to have some guts and step forward however if not i still like the piece and i think it is true in many ways.


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